Being anti-social can be a competitive advantage

A few weeks ago on Hacker News, someone asked a question about a job offer they got from Amazon. An Amazon employee replied:

For me Amazon took an unprecedented toll on my mental and physical health. I did earn enough money, but I immensely regret all the time I didn’t spend with my family over the years, all the friendships that faded, and the constant reminder from leaders how I could always do better - nothing was ever good enough.

Amazons leadership fundamentally does not see their employees as human beings. As I grew the ranks over the years, I was directly coached on removing myself from certain day to day interactions, because it would simplify decision making if I didn’t have an interest in my own people, that simply forming just work bonds was a conflict of interest in terms of doing what’s “right” for the company.

Being anti-social with colleagues can be a competitive advantage in vast bureaucracies like Amazon. Giant corporations want easily replaceable employees. When you don’t have emotional attachment to your co-workers, you are a better pawn to play with. You’ll get an excellent paycheck at Amazon, but the price is more than the time spent working. The price is a bit of your soul.

I got my first job in 2004, 18 years ago. Of these 18 years there are 4 that I regret: I worried too much, worked too hard, or felt entitled to something I didn’t earn. I stayed because of the money. It was never worth trading my peace of mind for that extra cash.

Work isn’t only about trading one’s time for money. It’s also about the sense of meaning it gives to life. Toil is meaningful because it connects us to the rest of humanity. We work to be with folks that make meaningful economic contribution to our community. When we retire, these connections are all we got left: the memories and the friendships that grew over the years are precious.

When my dad retired from the place he worked at for almost 40 years, it was hard on him: his old company wasn’t doing well and was being dismantled by unscrupulous executives. He found solace with his old co-workers, they meet from time to time to talk and reminisce about the good old days.

What’s the point of material comfort when one’s mind is starved of meaning?

Make friends at work, and stay in touch with them.